Important: I am not a licensed therapist or mental health professional. This assessment is a tool I’ve used to gain mental and personal clarity. Moreover, it, and any of the advice on Be Simply It, is not meant to replace professional or medical care regarding mental health.
Do you feel like you’ve lost your sense of self? Maybe you never found yourself to begin in the first place? Do your personal relationships feel less rewarding than they should?
Knowing yourself and who you are will empower you to treat yourself the way you deserve. Once you know yourself, you’ll know what types of interactions you need to be your happiest and what relationships are the most rewarding. Getting to know yourself is the first step towards self-love. I believe, without a doubt, that this personality assessment will change your life. So let’s take some time today to meet you.
Note: Since I can only truly speak for myself, I want to use myself and my personality type as an example. While you may have a different personality type, I want you to also reflect on your personality type. Ultimately, this is about getting to know yourself. I’m simply using myself as an example because I know myself best!
I’m the type of person who focuses most of my energy on other people. I love to take care of and nurture others. While I love this quality about myself, it was detrimental for many of my friendships in years past. Often times, I felt the friendships were not rewarding no matter how much I worked at them or did things for that person. I desperately wanted other people to like me and spent so much time, energy, and money trying to fulfill their needs. I was continually crushed in relationships, told friends it was a two-way street, and felt quite lonely even when I had “lots of friends.”
Over the years, I always wondered what was wrong with me. I was disappointed when people didn’t reciprocate affection. But I was more disappointed in myself that I gave it in the first place. I “knew” they would disappoint me because it happened over and over, so why would I try in the first place? It wasn’t until just recently that I realized “giving” is an innate part of who I am. And that it’s not inherently good or bad. But more importantly, I should only give because I want to, not because I expect something from it.
Now, this is a valuable lesson for any “giver” like me, but how I did really embrace this lesson? Intellectually, I always “knew” I should do things for people without
expecting needing something in return. But I didn’t fully accept and embrace this truth until recently. So what changed?
A former friend of mine introduced me to a personality assessment that taught me more about myself than any therapy session, conversation, or piece of advice has in my life. Frankly, this personality assessment is utterly invaluable. Even better, there’s a FREE version to take! It only requires 10-15 minutes of your time. So let’s dig in and meet you today!
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) is a personality assessment that will help you gain insight into your personality and interactions with others. The assessment consists of 16 different personality types. Each personality type is made up of four personality foci. Check out this awesome graphic for a full visual representation of the assessment.
The test will tell you where you focus your attention, how you intake information, how you make decisions, and how you interact with the world. These are represented with 8 letters, two possibilities for each category.
Just because you’re one letter different from someone else, doesn’t mean you two will be the same, but you’re just an extrovert or an introvert (for example). These qualities all work in tandem with each other to create unique, well up to 16 varieties of unique, personality types. This isn’t a comprehensive summary of who you are as a person, but will give you an outline of yourself. This personality assessment taught me about myself, and (perhaps more importantly) how I interact with others and the world around me.
Recommendation: I highly recommend that you and your significant other (or other important person in your life) take the personality assessment. It might explain some difference of opinions and ways that you two complement one another. My boyfriend, best friend, and I all took the assessment. Not only did we find ourselves saying “this is so me” the entire time we read our descriptions, but it explained how we work together in our respective relationships.
The assessment is free and takes about 10-15 minutes. Answer honestly and to the best of your knowledge. There are no right or wrong answers. Just be yourself! Afterward, read the brief description. I’m sure you’ll be impressed!
Did you catch yourself saying “that’s soooo me?” Because I sure did! My boyfriend was actually creeped out about how accurately his personality type matches him! I’m an ENFJ. Any other ENFJs out there struggling to find the balance between taking care of others and themselves? I totally feel ya!
In addition to the 16 Personalities description provided after the assessment, I love these additional resources to gain more insight into your personality type.
- Comprehensive Information
- Romantic Relationships
- Your Fatal Flaw in Romantic Relationships
- Career Matches
Note: On top of that, for a bit of fun flavor, you can look up MBTI® charts for your favorite shows, movies, and books! I especially had a fun time looking up my boyfriend’s personality type. Apparently, I’m dating Draco Malfoy, Dr. House, and Lucifer (from Supernatural) all in one person. Sounds like a keeper for sure! Please be scared for me…
Once I learned that I’m an ENFJ, I realized that focusing my attention towards others and being a “giver” was in my nature. It wasn’t just a good or bad quality. Just because I want to give to others, doesn’t make the action of “giving” a good or altruistic act. And just because I pressure myself to give, doesn’t mean that it has to be an unhealthy, self-sacrificing act against myself.
Personal Reflection: What qualities in your personality type are double-edged swords? How can you keep them in check to use them to make yourself more wholesome?
After taking this personality assessment, I have greater clarity and peace within my relationships. Instead of focusing on what to give, I started assessing why I want to give. I try to focus on giving as a healthy act of affection instead of a desperate attempt at people pleasing. I try to be mindful of my behavior and gained strength in cutting out toxic relationships from my life. I focus my energy on relationships that I find fulfilling and have the self-respect to end those that are not. Now, that doesn’t make these people bad people, but I couldn’t continue to maintain a friendship that was consistently harmful. Life’s too short to expend energy on relationships out of obligation.
Be friends with people because you love them for who they are and not just old history. The friendships you keep will be infinitely more rewarding.
In hindsight, the solution seems obvious. But I wasn’t able to embrace it until I took this personality assessment. It helped me see the situation from a different perspective. I had to meet me before I could truly understand my behavior and take actionable steps to improve myself and my relationships. It almost felt like, once I met me, I was a “real person” in my own eyes. I lost an ambiguous sense of self and gained an opportunity to treat myself like I would treat a loved one.
Reflection: What types of interaction do you find most rewarding? What types of relationships would be the most fulfilling in your life? Are there toxic relationships that you’ve held onto for too long?
While your personality type could be (and probably is) different than mine, I hope these resources provided insight into your needs, how to process the world, and interact with others. I hope you had the opportunity to truly meet yourself today. Furthermore, I hope you start to treat yourself like someone you love.
Knowing yourself is an ongoing process. Like any relationship, you constantly learn more about the other person and building that relationship continues through the years. Over time, we all change, learn, and grow. But these personality types remain as the fundamental basis of who we are as people. Getting to know yourself and meeting yourself is the first step to self-love. Let your new sense of self-empower you to treat yourself the way you deserve.
Let us know in the comments below what your personality types is! Did you gain a better sense of self with this personality assessment? Have you done it before? What actionable steps can you take to start treating yourself with love?