It was 6 AM and I was waiting in my car outside my friend’s house. We had an 8 AM Chinese class to attend. Since my friend didn’t have a car, I frequently offered her a ride to the early class. Even though her house was past campus and I had to backtrack through rush hour traffic, I always thought the inconvenience for me was much smaller than her having to wake up so early and take the bus.
After waiting 15 minutes for her to come outside, I finally got a text from her.
“Hey, I’m not coming to class today. Sorry you drove over here.”
Needless to say, I was pretty frustrated. I woke up an extra half hour early, drove across town to pick her up, and she couldn’t even tell me beforehand that she wasn’t going to class! The worst part, was this was a frequent occurrence for me. I often found myself in these types of situations with friends. Why? I’m a natural giver. But sometimes I find myself over-giving. My kind-hearted intentions towards others often went sour and only resulted in me treating myself poorly.
After many friendships devolved to me letting people take advantage of my giving nature, I started to think that “giving” was a bad thing. That being an altruistic person who put others first was a curse more than a blessing.
Ever feel that way about your own personality traits? Like you were just hard wired and doomed to make yourself miserable? Well, my friend, I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be that way.
Enter the Myers Briggs Personality Assessment.
How the Myers Briggs Personality Assessment Changed My Life
I’m sure that you’ve heard people say their Myers Briggs personality type. I’m an ENFJ, most of my friends are INFJs, and my boyfriend is the ever rare INTJ. But what does this even mean?
Beyond a grouping of letters, how can this personality assessment actually help you?
This was the first personality assessment that told me who I am in an actually useful way. Not just woo woo horoscopes or vague observations. This was real, valuable insight into who I am. And almost hauntingly too real. For the first time, I was able to evaluate my personality traits objectively. For example, I didn’t see my giving nature as an inherently good or bad thing. I was just part of who I am. And I finally felt like it was my choice if I wanted to make it a positive attribute for myself.
What did I even do with this knowledge? What’s the point of taking a personally assessment that had me saying “oh wow, that’s sooooo me!” the entire time? Well, the amazing thing is, I finally knew myself well enough to start learning self care and self love in the most effective and efficient ways that work for ME. Not just everyone else.
What a dream, right? Effective self love just works. And efficient self love gives you the most bang for your buck (well, in terms of time, energy, effort, and maybe actual dolla dolla bills).
Ready to amp up your self love game with the power of self awareness? Hell yes! Let’s do it!
HOW TO HARNESS THE POWER OF THE MBTI® FOR DEEPER SELF LOVE
Each personality type is a combination of four characteristic categories; each characteristic with two options.
Introvert (I) or Extrovert (E)
Intuition (N) or Sensing (S)
Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)
Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)
Each characteristic works in tandem with the others for a unique blend. So, just because your personality type is identical to someone else’s except for one letter, doesn’t mean your personalities are the same with the exception of that characteristic.
For the purposes of this post, the Myers Briggs Type Indicator® (in a nutshell) tells what our motivations are and how we interact with the world. Thus, showing us the type of person we are so we can treat ourselves in the way that work best for us.
TAKE THE ASSESSMENT FOR FREE
Fortunately, there’s a great free assessment available to take! It only takes 10-15 minutes and provides a great overview of your personality type the end. Be warned, you might find yourself saying “wow, that’s so me” a bit more than you expected.
After you take the assessment, you can find more details on your personality type with these great articles.
- Comprehensive Information
- Romantic Relationships
- Your Fatal Flaw in Romantic Relationships
- Career Matches
Note: For a bit of fun flavor, you can look up MBTI® charts for your favorite shows, movies, and books!
REFLECT AND EVALUATE
Like I said earlier, once i learned that I’m an ENFJ, I realized that focusing my attention towards others (and being a “giver”) was in my nature. Thus, I started seeing it more objectively. Just because I want to give to others, doesn’t make the act of giving inherently altruistic. And just because I pressure myself to give, doesn’t mean that it has to be an unhealthy, self-sacrificing act against myself.
So, my question(s) for you is…
What qualities in your personality type are double-edged swords? How can you be sure to keep them in check and balance your happiness?
After taking this personality assessment, I gained greater clarity and peace within myself and my relationships. Instead of focusing on what I give and how often I give, I started assessing why first. I try to use giving as an act of affection instead of a desperate attempt at people pleasing. As a result, I spend more energy on relationships that I find fulfilling and surround myself with people who I interact with on a positive and loving basis. Honestly, this was the biggest improvement to my life as a result of the MBTI®.
Basically, I had to “meet me” before I could truly understand my behavior and take actionable steps to improve my relationship with myself and other people. It almost felt like, once I met me, I was real and worthy person in my own eyes. I narrowed down my ambiguous sense of self to a deeper understanding of who I am. Thus, giving me the opportunity to treat myself with the love and respect I give all my loved ones. Pretty powerful, right?
What about you?
What types of interaction do you find most rewarding? Which relationships are the most fulfilling in your life? Are you allocating your energy in a healthy way?
Naturally, knowing yourself is an ongoing process. Like any relationship, you constantly learn more about yourself and change throughout the years. Over time, we all develop, learn, and grow. But these personality types remain the fundamental archetype of who we are. They’re the framework that keeps us…us. Getting to know yourself and becoming self aware truly is the first step of self love. It’s time to get to know just how incredible you are and let your new sense of self empower you to treat yourself the way you deserve!
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