I fully admit that I like to follow celebrities on Instagram. I enjoy looking at the fun snapshots of their lives. I like to read their little blurbs about the green juice they drank for breakfast or some other mundane activity they did that day. Kale salads always seem more exciting from a famous person, right?
But when I look in the comments section, I see so many people, especially women, saying the same thing over and over again.
“Omg your life is so perfect.”
“You are so perfect. I wish I was you.”
And I can’t tell you how frustrating and heart breaking it is to see so many women and young girls idolize celebrities to perfection. Because no. They’re not perfect. And no, their lives are not perfect.
I mean, no one is is perfect. And while I think we all know and acknowledge this fact on some level, we still glorify perfection. We idolize celebrities as perfect, demand perfection from ourselves while simultaneously hate ourselves for not being perfect. And while we think we’re trying to achieve self improvement, we aren’t making ourselves better by aiming for perfection. To the contrary, we are actually damaging ourselves more than we are improving.
Constantly striving for perfection is not a self-improvement goal. It’s a self-degradation cycle.
Perfectionism is the Enemy of Self-Esteem
Social media breeds the idea that perfection is achievable. We see all these perfect slices of people’s lives, but not the full story. Nonetheless, this portrays the idea that the particular individual always lives that way.
I mean, I can’t tell you how many photos I take to put on Instagram. I’ll have a small shoot with my succulents and take 60+ photos. Of those 60+ photos, maybe 8 or 10 even make it to the editing process.
My goodness those plants are FAKE and meant to be “perfect” and I still won’t put up a majority of the photos. So why should we hold the same standards to ourselves that even my fake plants can’t achieve?
Social media posts are just a tiny snapshot of our lives. They are the punctuation in between the words. But they don’t tell the whole story. There’s no need to dwell on a single period when you haven’t read the sentence.
We think we need to be someone else, do more, be more, or have more to be perfect. We set impossible goals for ourselves to reach. Then we crush ourselves when we don’t meet them.
But I have to ask, how can we ever feel happy with ourselves and love who we are when we are constantly disappointed by our lack of perfection?
- Have you ever told a friend that she’s so perfect (or at least thought it to yourself)? And you wish you could be her or have her life? (I’m guilty)
- How many times have you told yourself that if you just had that thing your home would be perfect or your life would be perfect? (I’m guilty)
- How many times have you told yourself if you just looked like her or had flat abs that your body would be perfect? (I’m guilty, guilty, guilty!)
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used perfectionism to hurt myself. I say that if only I could be more this and more that and that my body could have less this and less that, that I would be the perfect version of me. And I need to become this perfect person.
However, I’m not perfect. I never will be. And you’re not perfect. You never will be.
But the important part of that: it’s okay that we’re not perfect.
And it’s about time that we stop forcing and demanding ourselves to be something we’re not. Because, in the end, this only damages us further. We need to stop fooling ourselves that striving to be perfect is making us better when it’s really just causing strife within ourselves.
It’s time to stop striving for perfection and accept our imperfection. There’s no use being so cruel to ourselves for not being the impossible. Instead, we need to embrace our flaws. We need to embrace all of us. Not just select parts we like. I want you to embrace yourself in all your glory and imperfection.
So are you ready to let go of the need to be perfect? Are you ready to accept your imperfection? Are you ready to find happiness and self-love even as an imperfect person?
Because I sure am. And I want you to join me!
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