So, you’re probably here because you’re interested in self care. You’re sick and tired of always taking care of other people and never taking care of yourself. I mean, isn’t it about damn time that you got to prioritized yourself? (Pssst, it totally is!) So, you’re ready to take the plunge and learn self care.
Well, let me be the first to extend a HUGE congratulations to you! You’ve truly made a bold step on your self love journey. And I couldn’t be prouder! You are totally worth it, my friend.
So, you check out Pinterest. You search “self care” or “self care routine.” And there’s a tonnnnnnnnn of pins out there (probably how you found me, right?).
And hey! That’s great! It means that we’re actually talking about self care. It’s not just something hush-hush under the table. There’s actually a dialogue going and information out there.
But, as with any widely discussed topic, everyone has a different take. And sometimes, the message gets diluted and it’s hard to filter out the noise.
Be honest with me. When you think of self care, do you think of bath bombs, time alone, expensive spa trips, and mani pedis? If you do, that’s totally ok! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with treating and indulging yourself (because, hey, you 100% deserve it!).
But really, there’s more to self care than just pampering. And there’s more to taking care of you than just pampering your body.
If you’re totally new to self care, feel a little bit lost, and a lot overwhelmed, don’t worry! (If that’s possible. I know how your overthinking-brain works). Learning self care doesn’t have to be terrifying or make you feel even more stressed than you already are. In fact, it should do the opposite!
Today, we’re going to unpack the top self care newbie mistkes and how you can avoid them yourself. Because I want you to stick with it, girl! And I want you to be as successful at rocking the self care lifestyle as you possibly can be.
7 Common Beginner Self Care Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them)
One: Thinking you need a lot of time
The most common self care struggle that I hear is “but I don’t have the time for self care.” We start to think that self care requires hours upon hours of me time, being at the spa, doing yoga, or getting treatments at the salon. And because it seems like a huge time investment, we use that an excuse to not even give it a try.
But I’m here to tell you that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Self care doesn’t have to eat away all your precious time. The best self care activities are ones that you can seamlessly integrate into your everyday self care routine. Build in enough of these types of self care activities and you’ve got yourself a self care lifestyle; not just a one time activity.
Want to know exactly what I’m talking about? Try these 7 everyday self care lifestyle changes!
Two: Thinking you need a lot of money
The second most common self care struggle I hear of is a lack of funds. Oh, the struggle of cash monies. To be honest, I completely blame “industry” for this misconception. Commercial industries (especially those targeted for women) thrive off our insecurities.
According to the 2011 documentary Miss Representation, women are highly responsive to advertisers’ messages that we are not good enough. Making us feel even more insecure is (sadly) an effective method to entice us to purchase.
Now, with the rise of the self love revolution and the increasing popularity of self care, companies are jumping on the bandwagon, too. For example, saying to treat yourself by purchasing their product (i.e. making you feel like buying from them is an act of self care). As a result, we start to think that self care and self love are things that you can buy. Which (much like happiness), couldn’t be farther from the truth!
Ok, ok. So, rant aside, self care does not have to be expensive (in terms of time or money). But like the time misconception, the money one makes us feel like we aren’t adequate enough to create a self care routine (or at least our bank accounts aren’t).
And once again, this is absolutely not true! There are many self care activities that you can do for free. And you don’t need to be a rich, elegant socialite in heels with a Coach bag to make self care a regular deal for your regular self (I’m writing as a broke college student who has to budget for Target yoga pants, so you can believe me!).
Related: 10 totally free self care activities that you can try today
Three: Not believing that you’re worth it
When I started Be Simply It, I didn’t really know who I was writing to at the time. But, with more and more experience, I noticed a common trend with my lovely audience. You’re all natural givers.
If you’re unfamiliar with my use of the term, a natural giver is a person who is naturally more inclined to give to others than to herself. Your first nature is to take care of the people around you and, by default, yourself last. Sound like you? Then you’re totally in the right place, my friend.
Self care guilt hits natural givers especially hard (read all about that here). So, it’s absolutely important that we overcome self care guilt and truly believe that we are worth it. Why? If you don’t believe you deserve it, you’ll never stick to it. You can’t build a sustainable practice when you don’t believe in the cause.
So, in case no one’s told you today. You are worthy of love and belonging. And you deserve to be cared for and loved. You are the only person in the entire universe who sees the world the way that you do. And that makes you absolutely invaluable. So, you totally deserve to treat yourself as such! I believe in you. It’s time you do the same!
Four: Going it alone
There’s a reason that having a workout buddy makes sticking to an exercise routine that much more successful. When you’re committing to a lifestyle with someone else, you have someone to stay accountable to, share your struggles and wins with, and to cheer you on as you go.
If you try to tackle the self care lifestyle by yourself, you’re definitely going to hit a rough patch at one point or another. But without someone to hold you accountable to your commitment, brainstorm troubleshooting with, or simply encourage you to keep going, it’s beyond easy to let yourself give up.
That’s why it’s absolutely vital to have a self care/self love community to keep you on the straight and narrow. In my Facebook Group, we have daily discussions about self care/self love, encourage each other through a monthly letter exchange, and always share bits of love and support. If you’re a natural giver struggling to stick to the self care lifestyle, this group is the community for you! Join today! We’d love to have you.
Five: Biting off more than you can chew (aka signing up for allllllll the guides)
Like I mentioned earlier, there’s a TON of self care information out there. When you’re just starting out, it can be INSANELY tempting to sign up for every single workbook, guide, cheat sheet, and challenge you can get your hands on. I’ve totally been there!
While I love that so much free information is readily available, it’s easy to overload your plate. If you have too many challenge and workbooks, there’s simply too much work to complete. And if you take on too many different sources of information, you’ll lose sight of the big picture and prevent yourself from finding a message that speaks to you.
I recommend sticking to one or two sources of information (to keep the message streamlined) and one challenge or workbook at a time. Find the person who speaks to you. If that happens to be me (hey thanks!), I’m so happy to have you! But if not, no hard feelings! The most important thing is to make sure that the blogger (or other source of information and connection) who understands your struggle, provides information that’s valuable to you, and delivers it in a way you’ll respond to (aka that speaks to you on a personal level).
Related: Feel like we’re jiving well? Check out my beginner’s self care course!
Six: Giving up after one try
Ever started a new workout routine? You’re all pumped up and ready to go. Then, you give it one try and it was HARD. The next day, you feel like death and can’t walk down the stairs without your quads begging for mercy. So, you vow never again and that’s a promise you know you can stick to! Much more than making those excruciating workouts a regular routine.
Hey, no judgment from me. I’ve totally been there myself! Learning self care can be the same way. It’s can get tough. It’s not all manicure and days at the spa. Sometimes, you really have to work at and challenge yourself to grow.
But, when you found that workout routine that you actually end up sticking with, you know that with a routine, time, and practice, your workouts got easier, you got stronger, and you even started to enjoy the ride!
Self care is no different. You have to stick with it if you want to strengthen your mental and emotional well being. Just once is not enough. You have to come back day after day for those small meditation sessions if you want to get better. You have to practice, reflect, and tweak to develop a perfectly personalized routine that really rocks your socks off.
But if you give up after one try, you’ll never get any of that goodness. You gotta stick with it! And I know you can do it! There’s definitely a learning curve.
If you feel like this is all well and good, but you’d like to cut a few corner and tackle that learning curve even faster, I totally have your back. Like I said earlier, self care doesn’t have to be extremely time consuming or expensive. If you’re looking for a simple self care template to copy and paste into your life, I’ve got it all in one place for you!
In Self Care Master: A Day in the Life, we’re creating a self care routine that you can integrate into your everyday life. I’m sharing my top self care secrets and a few hacks to get you over that learning curve even faster. By the end of our time together, you should have a complete set up to live a day in the life of a self care master!
Ready to dig in? Join today!